English expat in Denmark: Dealing With Homesickness

I think I was homesick before I even moved out of my flat. As you may know, I lived in East London during the 2012 Olympics. I could hear the drums and see the fireworks from my living room (see Hashtag Olympics for the pic). I had friends over. We ate pizza and we drank wine, cider, beer. We cheered, we laughed and I think a couple of us may have even cried - the ceremony was quite emotional, it was the first time in a while since any of us had felt any sense of patriotism. It was a good night.


For me, the emotion ran deeper than the natural high of the Olympic Ceremony. I knew that this would probably be the last time that we would have people over to our (albeit tiny) London flat. I knew that we were moving to Copenhagen in a matter of months and, as much as it was an exciting move, it was also a scary thing. As much as I complained about the flat, the rental costs, the attitude of the London commuter (that includes you, London cyclists), I really loved living there. When it came to a month beforehand we sold our furniture. I cried, without fail, every time a piece of furniture left the flat (Philip tells me that the most ridiculous thing I cried over was the £10 Argos shoerack bidding us farewell). Perhaps not all of you are as emotional as I am but moving abroad was, and still is, the biggest thing I have ever done. The furthest away I had lived from my family was just outside West London when they lived just outside East London. I have always been at least one hour by train to my friends. This was, and is, very different. If you are on the cusp of moving then you may well know these feelings. You may react differently - I'll be the first to admit that I'm more emotional than your average Joe - but you will start to notice things around you that you perhaps didn't before. If you've already moved then you're either nodding in agreement or rolling your eyes. I feel that there is no middle ground.

I won't go into the goodbyes and the like. Just know that they were emotional, all in their own way.

Prior to the move I had been to Copenhagen about six times. And I had loved it more and more each time. Once I made the move to Copenhagen it took me about six weeks, despite the constant job hunting, to properly realise that I wasn't on holiday. It hit me pretty hard at first - I was jobless, relying on Philip for money, I couldn't properly speak the language and I discovered a downside to social media where you see how all your friends who you left behind are still having the same life but without you in it. All sounds incredibly melodramatic, I know - I promise I wasn't thinking this deeply at the time, it's only now that I'm documenting it all that I can explain it as it was. Still, I had two choices.
1) I could keep on lamenting about not living in London, in my comfort zone, how I felt I would never make friends and make 'my own' Copenhagen. I could have complained about the job market and about how my friends would forget about me. I could have complained about the lack of Marmite and that it just wasn't England.
OR
2) I could embrace my new city with all it has to offer. I could appreciate the hell out of the fact that our friends live so close together. I could be happy with the fact that I will fulfill a long term dream of mine to be fluent in a second language. I could see every single inch of opportunity that lay before me. I could choose to see Copenhagen not as a pit of depression with everything missing but as a blank canvas that I could make into whatever I wanted.

Needless to say, I choose option 2. It is pointless heading for option 1. Why would you want to spend all your time in a country feeling miserable that it's not like home? Because of course it's not going to be like home - surely that is part of why you moved. But that is also part of the excitement of a move abroad - you can see new things, learn new things and meet new people. That is not to say I don't get homesick at all now because I do. But I know how to deal with it now. Other than what I have written in option 2, which is the attitude to adopt, here are my top tips for dealing with homesickness:

1) Email a friend. In detail. They'll love to receive a long email and you will also look forward to a long response back. It worked wonders for when Philip and I did long distance for a year (that is a whole other story which I will not bother you with)
2) Arrange Skype dates with friends and/or family. No need to expand on that one.
3) On your bike! If you have already moved here or are thinking of doing so you will already know that Denmark is one of THE most bike friendly places in the world. If you have a bike it's a great way to see the diversity of Copenhagen - the beach, the lakes, the city, the churches .. it's wonderful (see what I did there?). Exploring your new city and getting familiar with it will soon help you settle into your new home. If you don't have a bike then you can walk, particularly in Copenhagen.
4) Discover something new about the city that you like at least once a week and write it down or say it out loud to somebody. e.g. "I like living in Copenhagen because you can go out at 10pm and still take it easy"
5) Find events that are going on in the city. Or even take yourself out of the city. Check out Visit Denmark for your first port of call.
6) QI reruns. Ok, very specific to British expats but it is so useful for me. It's on most days on BBC Entertainment. They usually have loads of them on Sundays which is just perfect hangover television

Homesickness will happen to most, if not all, expats. It gets easier. And I'm writing this as somebody who still goes through it from time to time. Trust me.


(Saying all of the above though, I will ALWAYS miss Marmite) 




(Next in the series - The Danish Language. 14th February 2013)

An English expat in Denmark: a series

Having been a Copenhagen resident for over three months now, I feel I am somewhat qualified to know the questions that go through the heads of future expats. What is the Danish job market like? What about the language? Is the culture different? Although I won't be able to personally get anyone a job, teach anyone Danish or magic any homesickness away, I will be able to offer practical advice.

And although I am a Brit, the topics covered in the series will be able to reach out to people of all backgrounds. Regardless of background, we're all human.

So, watch this space. I'll be starting with Dealing With Homesickness which will be published on Thursday 7th February.

The job hunt in Denmark

Or job hunting in Copenhagen. Finding work in Copenhagen. Working in Denmark. However you want to describe it, the job hunt here is a tough old game, no matter whether you are a new graduate or, like me, an experienced professional. I have networked effectively and applied to as many jobs as possible but still no luck. I'm not giving up hope, I have had enough interviews to know that I am not unemployable. The websites and other resources I have utilised are the following:

LinkedIn
Used this to extend my network, research like-minded professionals in the same field as me and see what companies they work for. Look up said company's website, apply for any jobs they have or send in a speculative application.

Jobindex
Standard jobsite

Jobzonen
Standard jobsite - have not found anything on here however that I haven't found on jobindex

Jobs In Copenhagen
Jobsite apparently for English speaking professionals however more often than not, a lot of the jobs require English and another European language. I haven't been able to apply for any jobs here.

I also apply to jobs that 'require' higher education such as a Masters (I'm educated to Bachelor level only). Having spoken to a lot of recruiters, you will be seen if you have the relevant experience - don't not apply because you don't have a Masters as I have been assured that skillset and mindset will win over this.

Still, with all the above combined I am still sitting here, having lived here for three months, a marketer with almost 8 years experience and still unemployed. Is it a cultural thing? Do I need to learn how to speak business in a Danish sense, and not in the linguistic sense? Perhaps. Well, I stumbled across the Worktrotter initiative, which is an incredibly helpful resource for the expat here in Denmark. Dagmar Fink, the founder, has written two books which look to be just what I, and many an expat, are crying out for. They've both been reviewed favourably by both expats and Danes alike.

The Worktrotter's Guide To Denmark

Business Dances With Danes

Let me know what you think, I know I will!

Eat well on a budget

Philip and I are not actively budgeting however we are both quite frugal by nature and this serves as well at the moment, seeing that we are living on one income and no financial benefits whilst I job hunt and learn Danish. We also love cooking and food - combine this with our frugality and hey presto, cheap and healthy meals which last.

I'm a member of a few internet forums where the European economic crisis is always called to topic; I was shocked on a recent thread on one forum where a few members had admitted that they had gone without meals in order to feed their children due to income issues.

All of which inspired this post. I'm not suggesting that one should be donning Masterchef whites and knocking up a mushroom ravioli with shaved truffles with a celeriac puree, I am saying that it is far easier to eat healthily and well on a budget than one would think.With this simple recipe, you'll find that you have both time AND money. Eating well doesn't have to be expensive or time consuming.

Pepper and tomato sauce - serves 4 adults and can be frozen
Ingredients
3 medium peppers of any colour
2 medium red onions or 1 large
1 can or carton chopped tomatoes
1 tsp tomato puree
Couple of rosemary sprigs
Squeeze lemon juice (optional)
Salt and pepper to taste
Olive oil

What you'll need
Hand held electric blender (Wilkinson do a basic one for £4.79 or a set for £15)
Large saucepan

Method
1. Preheat the oven to 200C. Dice the peppers and peel & dice the onions. Arrange on a baking tray and drizzle with olive oil so that the vegetables are covered, but not soaked. Place the rosemary sprigs on top. Place in the pre-heated oven for 30 minutes.

2. When the vegetables have been roasting for 20 minutes, place the chopped tomatoes in a saucepan and heat gently. Do not bring to the boil.

3. Take the vegetables out of the oven and stir into the tomatoes. If you like, you can tear of the roasted rosemary leaves and mix them in. When fully mixed, take off the heat and blend with an electric blender to the consistency you prefer, being careful not to splatter yourself with warm vegetable juice! To get it smooth should take approx. 3 minutes. When you have it to the consistency you like, return to the heat and stir in the puree. Season to taste and add the lemon juice now, if you are using.


This sauce is perfect for:
Pasta - with a sprinkling of parmesan
Base for a classic bolognaise sauce
Chicken
Prawns (recommend adding the lemon juice for this)
Quorn

Ta-da! You have now made a homemade sauce which will serve four adults, though if you don't like much sauce it'll last you even longer. That's half an hour out of your day and can be made the night before. I'm planning to double the quantities above so I can freeze half of it in the freezer.

Total cost:
3 medium peppers - £1.65 (Tesco mixed peppers @ £1.65 for 3 pack)
Chopped tomatoes - £0.35 (Tesco value chopped tomatoes @ £0.35 per tin)
2 red onions - £0.40 approx (Tesco red onions loose @ £0.19 each but will depend on weight)
Tomato puree -  £0.29 (Tesco Tomato puree 142g @ £0.29 per tin)
Rosemary - £0.80 (Tesco fresh rosemary 30g @ £0.80 per packet)

Per person:
£0.90 maximum. That's £3.60 for four adults.
£0.97 max per adult portion if you add pasta - based on Tesco value pasta costing £0.39 for 500g and the average adult pasta serving being 100g.
£1.50 max per adult portion if you add pasta and bolognaise - based on Tesco value minced beef costing £2.34 for 750g

The per person is a back of a fag packet calculation as I haven't taken into account that you wouldn't use all the rosemary and tomato puree; taking this into account would make it even cheaper. To make the basic sauce is 30 minutes out of your day. If you have gotten to the bottom of this post and are thinking that you don't have 30 minutes then I challenge that - you've had time to read this, you probably have a programme that you don't know why you watch ... so why not put those minutes into cooking? Yes, straight out of a jar sauce is easier but it's not cheaper in the long run and not half as satisfying. Yes, ready meals are easier but, seeing as a ready meal seems to cost £3.50 per portion (again, based on Tesco prices), it definitely isn't cheaper. Plus, you have the satisfaction of knowing exactly what you have put into this sauce.

If you're still doubtful, just try it. I would welcome any feedback. But I will refuse to believe anyone that claims eating healthy is expensive.

And ... we're done. Registering yourself in Denmark.

After a month of silence where I was sorting everything out pre-move, I am now proud to declare that I am officially a resident of Denmark. Was it easy? Well ... yes. But I was very lucky as I have a Danish fiancé that is able to vouch for me in terms of funding until I get on my own two feet which, realistically, I don't think will happen until January at absolute earliest. So, this is how I/we did it.

Getting the CPR number was easier than I thought and took just three hours; however as I say I was very lucky. If you are considering moving here with no significant ties to Denmark such as Danish family/fiancé/etc., then I suspect it will be more difficult. Let me go through what I did and what the more difficult parts were, step-by-step.

Your first port of call should be Borgerservice (here), which I guess translates as Citizen Service. The international Services desk however is only open on Wednesdays and Thursdays at certain times - see this link for opening times and what you'll need to bring. My one tip is to get there as close to opening time as you can with all the documents you can possibly arm yourself with - when I got there an hour after the international desk opened there was already a fairly lengthy queue.

Documents I took with me that were needed:

• Passport
• A complete registration permit form - this is needed before you get the CPR number, even if you are EU - the application form is here
• My fiancé with his bank statements - as I am now unemployed I came here under 'sufficient funds', which means I have to prove that I or someone can fund me during my stay in Denmark, which my fiancé can. I imagine that this would be absolutely vital if you are self-employed.
• Two passport pictures - they provide this at Borgerservice but you will need these before you queue up at International Citizens Service so perhaps get there before the International Citizen desk opens in order to get these done (fee applies)
• Handwritten and signed letter from the person responsible for loaning me the flat (happens to be my fiancé in this case)

Documents that I didn't need but if you are not moving under 'sufficient funds' they might be useful (though obviously I would advise you to contact Borgerservice if you are unsure):

• Full driving licence with paper counterpart
• Proof of residency in Denmark such as rental agreement
• Letter from employer

Once your residents permit has been approved by somebody in this department, you will then be asked to fill in an application form for the CPR number which you can complete at the office and then see somebody about straight afterwards.

I must reiterate again that I was very lucky in that I have a Danish fiancé who is familiar with the Danish systems and is able to vouch for me; therefore before going to the Borgerservice office I would most definitely recommend giving them a call to see exactly what documents you need before you visit them in person. There's little point filling out the application forms before you leave for Denmark as this will not save any time however it would definitely be worth collating all documentation such as the above (plus anything else you feel would be useful) prior to departure, to save hunting for it when you get here.